So...in a week and a half I will be a married woman. It's just crazy. My dad and grandma and mom are all in a little bit of shock really. They've of course been there through the whole process but they know my ways. I have been afraid of marriage for so long and have avoided it for so long that they are shocked that i'm actually going through it this time (long story there). Anyhow, I have found such a wonderful man who will make a wonderful husband (that word is going to take some getting used to...lol) and a wonderful father (insh'Allah). People keep asking if I'm scared and nervous and of course I am a little bit but not about him, but about me. Whether I will be a good mother and stuff. I pray and pray for it. But that is my fear. He's so good that I have nothing to fear there. I realized that I was right to never have married before. Everyone said I was too picky and that i just need to do it, but I'm glad i've waited. And I'm glad I'm Muslim and marrying a Muslim. Had i gotten married earlier I would probably be stuck either wanting to convert or stuck as a confused Catholic (i was always confused in Christianity). M waited it out too. His parents of course have been frustrated too like mine and wanted to see him married with a family...well mash'Allah, we have found each other and our family's like one another and it seems there are no foreseeable kinks. Mash'Allah. We are nervous but not about each other, just about the big day. One and a half weeks away and we'll fulfill half our deen so soon after the blessed month.
Ramadan has been good. Fasting has been way hard on me. I just have such a high metabolism that i've had problems with it but insh'Allah it'll get better each year. I enjoyed all the extra prayers the other night. I feel so many blessings in my life that it sometimes brings tears to my eyes. Mash'Allah.