This is going to be an interesting week... I was out of town this weekend and when I landed I drove around listening to Dirty Vegas...Days Gone By. Special tune. I drove through all the neighborhoods I've lived in here and just thought. I started thinking how I've been trying to leave this place since I was a teenager and now that I'm going to do it, I'm going to miss it. Those mountains are a benchmark for me and it is going to be weird not seeing them and not praying on top of them. The hiking will go away. I'm going to miss my friends too. This is where I became Muslim and this is the place that turned me into who I am. I will miss all those who touched my life whether good or bad.
Funny to think when my family came here 16 years ago we were essentially homeless...living in a schoolbus and struggling hard. Icicles between our toes every night praying they wouldn't drop from the ceiling and poke us in our eyes. Those days I was a good Catholic girl, then I became the Buddhist and a bunch of other things. Exploratory years. Learning years. Hard years. The following year I visited my first mosque. I was drawn to Islam at that time, but never thought I'd be a part of it. I guess I always searched it out but didn't know I could be a part of it. Day by day I become more Muslim, and in a way, more me. Weird thinking like that but it's true. The softer side of me has been able to come out. The goodness within me found a place to be good. The activist inside found her voice. The anger turned into love.
Okay, enough of the gushy stuff, but I am gushy today. Tomorrow I will quit my job and see what the next chapter of my life holds. Insh'Allah, it will be everything I've never known was possible. There's going to be hills and mountains to cross and there will be long roads that I travel down effortlessly, but all will be a treasure to behold. Insh'Allah.
Yes...all this is vague to those who aren't living it, but my life is going to change 100% in 30 days. More to tell later....